December 29, 2005

La Diversión termina en ONG

Ahhhh, Washington DC...sede del poder, guardián de la democracia, capital del Crack, y el hogar del Zero Population Growth Institute, ahora conocido como 'Population Connection', entidad neo-maltusiana cuya auto-descrita meta es "educar y motivar a los americanos a encarar el reto de la superpoblación mundial". Dígase, todos esos mexicanos, indios y otros parias que se reproducen como conejos.
Durante una conversación con un amigo surgió esta pregunta..."¿Cuál es su política en cuanto a la licencia de maternidad?" Así que reclutamos a la Srta. Lucinda Knoll-Baxter, residente del suburbio de Arlington Virginia, para llevar a cabo esta tan importante investigación:
Subject: Associate Position
December 29, 2005
Population Connection
1400 16th St. NWSuite 320
Washington, DC 20036
Dear Sir/Madam
I was extremely impressed by Population Connection's approach and focus on the overpopulation problems faced by all americans and the world after attending a Campus Outreach presentation given by your organization earlier this year. I also learned more about Population Connection by talking with the Outreach Coordinator and several other interns. My discussions with them confirmed my interest in Population Connection and I am now writing to request an invitation to interview for an associate consulting position.
After graduating from Virginia Tech with a double degree in Economics/Planning with a Focus on Demographics, I worked as an associate in the CATO institute, where I gained solid analytical and problem solving skills. During my employment, I took a team leadership role managing the daily work of five junior members.
I am excited by the strong potential fit I see with Population Connection, and would greatly enjoy becoming part of your mission. I was very impressed by your benefits package but I failed to find information on the Organization's policy regarding Maternity Leave. Despite my staunch beliefs in population control, I admit that I have been bitten by the bug, my biological clock has rung it's alarm ,and as of now, I am 4 months pregnant. I hope this will not be a hindrance in allowing me an equal opportunity applying for the associate position. I am also aware that birth rates have far surpassed death rates for many years now and perhaps a sacrifice is now in order. Perhaps if I replace the birth of my child with the death of say, a less useful member of society, will the population balance be maintained? I love my grandmama, but she is well past her prime, and also suffers from high blood pressure and Alzheimers Disease. I could easily overcaffeinate her drinks when I take her to the Indian Casino, or she could tragically perish in an automobile accident due to her absent-minded nature. I am open to suggestions. Yes, they are drastic measures, but if said replacement makes you look more kindly on my application, and allows Maternity Leave, I believe it would be well worth the effort.
I have enclosed my resumé for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Cordially,
Lucinda Knoll-Baxter
2354 Spring Lane Road
Arlington Virginia, 24856
Algo me dice que no van a contestar...

3 comments:

morituri said...

LUVLY.

lilimarleen said...

jajajaja... pera, que me quede a mita.. vuelvo en un rato a terminar, que esta interesante...

lilimarleen said...

es muy deprimente y nunca termine de leermelo.. por cierto.. que te has propuesto para año nuevo?