If only you had been a Category 5 Hurricane, followed by wild-fires, followed by an earthquake, followed by a tsunami. Only then justice would have been served and Florida would have ceased to exist, to the benefit of humanity and the entire world. Insensitive, cruel?...allow me to elaborate, and ennumerate the main reasons justifying Florida's well deserved demise, and you shall understand, nay! You shall join the righteous camp! :
1. "Gusanos": derogatory term given to (mostly)wealthy Cuban emigrés who fled after the Cuban Revolution of 1959. Rabidly Anti-Castro, reactionary in most political debate. Now, I am no fan of "El Comandante", but through their well documented lobbying efforts they have made life for their fellow Cubans on the island far more miserable, knowingly or unknowingly. Well known to support conservative causes in the political sphere. And mainly responsible for...
2. George W. Bush: Due to the so-called 'mishandling' of the Elián González affair by the Clinton administration, and a fair degree of political maneuvering , most of the Cuban electorate in Florida supported George W. Bush in the 2000 election. We know the story from there. Who knows? Maybe the war in Iraq could have been averted.
3. Miami, The Capital of the Latino Entertainment Industry: Everyday, moronic, imbecilic programming is beamed to millions of households turning normal human beings into vapid, superficial lumpen. Takes the worst material from American and Latin Television and manages to make it even worse. Think 'Fox' without smart shows like the 'Simpsons' and more fake-news programs and brain-killing talk shows.
4. Disney World: Huge mega entertainment complexes designed to brainwash children...and adults into buying crap, and afterwards...buying more crap. People apparently move to Orlando to be closer to the Theme Parks, their Mecca. Off with their heads I say!
5. Florida looks ugly on a map: It's ungainly, and not pleasing to look at, extending like an unnecessary appendage towards the ocean, and disrupting the country's symmetry.
If you have any relatives or loved ones living in Florida, please let them know that they should evacuate soon. Unless they're lumpen of course, then they should perish as well. For, if the Blue Drone has his way, and there any sort of Karmic Justice in the Universe, the area where Florida now lies shall then be known as the:
A safe haven for wildlife, free from the meddling of imbeciles. Perhaps in the future Manatees will not need to look for food in Rhode Island. And that, is a beautiful thought...