March 16, 2006

Josef Von Teufel, agente de viajes

Saludos, fieles seguidores de la bibliomancia sideral. Esta semana les ofrezco un futuro lleno de localidades exóticas y aventuras y desventuras para todos. Porque siempre hay momentos en los que hay que desaparecerse a la porra, o enviar algunos a ella. Personalmente, necesito un cambio de plano astral...porque esto de estar en el noveno nivel del purgatorio se pone aburrido a veces. Me prometieron vírgenes, pero sólo recibí cupones de descuento para el mini-bar.

Acuario(enero 20-febrero 18)
Bannu, Pakistán
"Bannu is called 'Bana' & 'Bani Gul' in the local Pashte language. It is a place of very happy people. In the afternoon one can see groups of young men wearing garlands of flowers & dancing in the roads & parks".

¿Idílico no? ¿Pero entonces por qué las noticas que veo en el 'wire' no concuerdan con esta imagen del paraíso?

Attackers Fire Rockets at Pakistani Base (AP Online)
Attackers fire rockets at Pakistan airport, no injuries or damage (AP Worldstream)
Pakistan Base in al-Qaida Hunt Attacked (AP Online)
AP: Pakistan Tribesmen May Negotiate (AP Online)
Explosion explodes outside Christian missionary school in Pakistan, no casualties (AP Worldstream)
Pakistan's Untamed Frontier; Army's Anti-Terror Offensive Finds Little Support in Semi-Autonomous Tribal Areas (The Washington Post)
Bomb explodes outside school for disabled children, no casualties (AP Worldstream)
Tribesmen protest against hunt for al-Qaida men sheltering in a border village (AP Worldstream)
Rocket hits residential area in Pakistan, no injuries reported (AP Worldstream)

Buena suerte...

Piscis(febrero 19-marzo 20)
South Orkney Islands, Reino Unido, Orcadas, Argentina?

"Over 85 percent of these remote and rugged islands are glaciated, hence the name "Inaccessible Islands." Conditions permitting, visit Orcadas, the oldest continuously-manned research station in Antarctica, located on Laurie Island. Native birds such as snow and cape petrels, skuas and prions await"

Excitante! Abrígate bien...

Aries(Marzo 21, Abril 19)

Monte Peleaga, Oeste de Rumania cerca de Timisoara

"This is the tallest peak in the Retezat mountain range and it provides a superb view of the surroundings. The route to the peak begins at Bucura ,the biggest glacial lake in Romania,elevation 2040 m, and continues on the wall of the glacial caldera, in a zig-zag fashion, up to the ridge, from where you can appreciate the true size and beauty of the lake. From the ridge you climb straight to the top on an easy slope, composed of lichen-covered boulders."

Cuidado con los vampiros... y los gitanos

Tauro(abril 20-mayo 20)

Zamboanga, Suroeste de las Filipinas

"The origin of the word Zamboanga came from the early Malays who came to settle at the tip of Zamboanga peninsula. These Malays discovered the place to be profusely blooming with flowers and called it “Jambangan” meaning “land or pot of flowers.” "

Muy bonito...pero parece que se quedaron con la fiebre de los años 80...¡Cuidado con los comunistas!

Geminis(mayo 21-junio 20)

Batman, sureste de Turquía en Anatolia

"One of the southeastern Anatolian cities, Batman is a little province which takes its name from the river flowing on its west. The Batman river, spanned by the old Malabadi Bridge, draws the province's border with Diyarbakir, and then joins Tigris (Dicle) River passing through the land. The southeastern extensions of the Taurus Mountains on the other hand, stand on the eastern side of the region, together with the 1288 m high Raman Mountain. Here is one of the main crude oil production centers of Turkey, and the refinery at Batman was the first founded one in the country. "

Batman, WTF!

Cáncer(junio 20-julio 22)

Uppsala, Suecia

"Once a year, on April 30, the 30,000 students take over the city completely, together with thousands of visitors they welcome spring on Walpurgis Eve."

La noche de Walpurgis, La noche de Walpurgis!!!!

Cáncer, preparate para lujuria...

Leo(julio 23-agosto 22)

Nuuk, Groenlandia

Nuuk (The Cape) (Danish/Norwegian: Godthåb, which translates to "Good Hope" in English) is the capital and largest city of the self-governing Danish territory of Greenland.

Pues la capital de Groenlandia...y eso...

Virgo(agosto 22-septiembre 22)

Aral, Kazakstán

"Aral (Kazakh: Арал, Russian: Аральск) is a small city in south-western Kazakhstan, located in the oblast of Qyzylorda. Aral was formerly a harbor city on the banks of the Aral sea, and was a major supplier of fish to the neighboring region. Since the retreat of the sea, Aral has diminished in population and socioeconomic significance."

Vas a pasar una estadía a las orillas del bello Mar Aral, aprovechalo antes de que desaparezca...Si te parece un paisaje desolador, no deberías preocuparte, ya que tu duro y árido corazón podrá soportarlo....

Libra(septiembre 23-octubre 22)

Detroit, Michigan, U.S.A.

"Detroit ((French: Détroit,) is a city in the U.S. state of Michigan. It is the largest city in the state and is the county seat of Wayne County. Located along the Detroit River — French: Rivière du Détroit, i.e. "River of the Strait" — and across from the Canadian city of Windsor, Ontario, it was established in 1701 by French fur traders. It is the center of an industrial area that is among the most significant in the American Rust Belt."

Virgo salió mejor que tú, porque creo que Detroit es más deprimente que 'Aral'.

Escorpio(octubre 23-noviembre 22)

El Océano Pacífico, en algun lugar entre la longitud 160 y la latitud 30, entre Japón y las Islas Midway.

Querías relajarte y apartarte de todo, buena vacación vas a tener...mucho pero que mucho tiempo para meditar, leer, y flotar...y flotar, flotar...lleva suficientes provisiones, no sabes cuando llegues a tierra al fin. Y cuidado con los tifones.

Sagitario(noviembre 23-diciembre 21)

Ansongo, sureste de Mali

Town, southeastern Mali, West Africa, on the Niger River. It is a mining (antimony) and agricultural (grains, livestock) marketing centre. Prospecting for uranium began in the late 1970s. The Niger is navigable for about 1,000 mi (1,600 km) above Ansongo. Directly to the east is the Ansongo-Ménaka animal reserve, which covers an area of more than 4,300,000 ac (1,750,000 ha). Pop. (1976) 3,483...

Por lo menos te puedes ir de Safari...

Capricornio(diciembre 22-enero 19)


The Commonwealth of Dominica, popularly known as Dominica, is an island nation in the Caribbean Sea. It should not be confused with the Dominican Republic, another Caribbean nation.Dominica's pre-Columbian name is Wai'tu kubuli, which means "Tall is her body."

Creo que eres el único que vas a pasar una vacación normal...pero cuidado con las bebidas con sombrillita, son engañosamente fuertes...


morituri said...

Un saludito a Las Filipinas!!!!!!!

lilimarleen said...

JAJAJAJA... diablo!!! que bieeeennn!!! el pacífico!! justo lo que necesito para mi problema de gota...

morituri said...

Acaba y regresa!